When I came up with this idea for Abandoned I knew it was going to be hard to create emotionally. I knew I would have to get into that head space of hurt and feeling thrown away like I was worthless. I also knew that I needed to create this image to move on and heal more than I have already. Losing my Mom was incredibly hard, but losing ones that I thought would always be there for me, who promised they would be, made things so much worse. I truly was alone to deal with losing her.
It took me a few years to finally accept it and move on, and it wasn't easy by any means. There was a ton of anger and hurt, and I am not going to lie there still is and I think always will be in the background, but I came to realize that things happen for a reason. If people are meant to be in your life than they will be, I got sick of the drama and childishness of it all and decided to move on with my life not just for my kids and Ryan but also for me, and it was the best decision I could have made. When I let go of these people and all the anger and hate, a weight was lifted off of me. I started to think of all the people that stayed with me through it all, and I became overwhelmed with gratefulness at how lucky I am to be surrounded by the most amazing people. I also was able to accept that, even though, those people aren't in my life anymore, I still love them very much and they helped me become who I am as well.
When I went in to create this piece, I knew that I needed the dress to be red.... why you may ask, well red is a powerful colour, it symbolizes anger which I had but also strength. I have become a much stronger person because of everything I have been through in my past from when I was little until today, so the red shows that even though I felt incredibly hurt and abandoned, essentially thrown away and not worth anything, I became very strong from it.
Creating this series of emotionally pieces of art, has been the best thing for me. After I finish one, I feel so light and so full of joy. It's like I am letting go of that last bit of emotion. Thank you so much to all of you for the kind comments and message and most of all for all the support. I am blessed to know each and every one of you <3