Breathe

March 07, 2016  •  Leave a Comment

Breathe

 

A couple of weeks ago my youngest brought a note home from the principal, he had been acting out a lot recently and she wanted me to come into the school, now normally this would have been an "Oh great moment" and I would talk to Bryce and then meet with the principal and that would be it, but not a couple of weeks ago. I read that note and broke down, it was the final straw that just broke me completely. I had a really bad panic attack, one of the worst ones I have had in years. I couldn't breathe, I was shaking, crying uncontrollably and just thought I have failed at everything, raising my kids, being a wife, life in general......


I texted my amazing friend Shannon, I knew out of everyone she would understand, and she did. She took the time to help me get through this attack, and the first thing she said to me is you need to breathe, just breathe!! Sounds simple right?! Well it isn't, lol. If you have ever had a panic attack, you will know how hard it is to just take a breath. I eventually was able to calm down, but I don't know if I would have been able to without her help. My close friends know that I kind of go things alone over here, well besides my hubby, I am so grateful to have such amazing friends that are more like family to me, that are there for me 100% and I like to think I am there for them too, I really hope I am <3


So back to this Breathe image, I knew I wanted to shoot this infront  of my large doors in the studio, I wanted it to be back lit, but that was about it. I started editing and I had no clue what to do with the image, I knew what I wanted it to show, but wasn't sure how I would get that done. About 2 hours into the image, it came to me, how I was going to edit it. 


It is quite different than my other images, as it's lighter in look. I wanted to be surrounded by it, I wanted to be curled up, tense, stressed....panicked. But I wanted there to be a light above me, my light essentially, my hope and it is shining down. I wanted to show that even when you are in a bad place, your light, your hope is always there with you. 

 

Nikki xoxo

 

 


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