I stood in my studio on Monday about to do some self-portraits and as I stood there staring at the blank walls I lit up!! I took a deep breath and let my mind just create, very quickly afterwards I knew what I wanted to do.
I had been talking to my husband about my fears, and how I want to move forward with my work. He was 100% supportive and said I should do what I love to do. I smiled and was grateful that he has always been my number #1 supporter, but in the back of my mind fear and doubt instantly crept in.
That is where this image came to be. I have a fear of disappointing people, regardless about how I feel about it. I just want to make others happy. I am going to attempt to describe what I have been going through for quite awhile.
I have always had a very big imagination, when I was younger I used to write stories, I still have those some are finished some are not, but it is something that I loved to do. When photography came into my life and as the years have gone by, I find that I still love to tell stories but now through my images. I want people to look at an image I have created and FEEL something....anything, it could be sadness, strength, joy, understanding, you could hate it, but that isn't what matters, what matters is that you FEEL something when you look at it, regardless of what that is.
You may have noticed that I have been doing more fine art pieces with myself in it. I use myself because....well it's handy I am here,lol. I also know what I want for certain images, I won't always use myself but for now I do. When I photograph and create a piece I am filled with joy, my heart is happy and I know when I am doing these that this is what I am meant to do, as an amazing friend said to me recently " This is why you are here" "you speak life with your portraits. Keep speaking life." I have received more messages than ever with some of these pieces, and that has meant the world to me. To be told that an image made them cry because they can relate to it, well that is it.... that is what I want, emotions.....Not necessarily crying, but they felt something!
This is why I added the fine art session into my packages, I want to create something meaningful for that person, something that is just for them. The creative sessions are the same thing, but not as personal in a way. Creative sessions are for those that want a series of images to reflect something that they love, their passion.
So what does all of this mean..... it means that I will be cutting back on how many families, maternity and newborn sessions I do each year. I will still be doing the fundraising mini sessions, that is a big passion of mine too, but I want to have lots of calendar space for creative work and sessions, since they take quite a bit to come up with and work on. I haven't figured out exactly how many of each I plan to do, but once I figure that out I will let everyone know.
I know that some of you will be disappointed, and I understand but this is what I need to do. So for anyone that is wanting a family, maternity or newborn session for 2015 please let me know as early as you can, so that I can have you booked in before there are no more spaces.
Sorry, this is such a lengthy post, but I felt like this is something I needed to say and let everyone know. Thank you so much for all of your love and support for the past 5 1/2 years....wow can't believe it's been that long already, and I hope you will still support me and that I will get to work with you whether it's one of my few family, newborn or maternity sessions or an amazing piece of art created just for you.