Zenfolio | In Focus Photography By: Nicole | New Series

New Series

December 18, 2017  •  1 Comment

Pain.....Brain Fog.....Anxiety.....

These are the first 3 images of my Fibromyalgia series!! There will be 10 images total, which I can't wait to work on!!

If you have chronic pain, most of these will be familiar to you, unfortunately, a lot of people don't believe that people with chronic pain are actually in pain, because they can't see it with their eyes. They say it must be all in your head, or it's not real. I am creating this series to show you just how real it is! 

I started getting symptoms 6.5 years ago after my Mom passed away. I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder right afterwards, and that in turn brought on my fibro. For 3.5 years I had no clue what was wrong with me, why somedays I would be in extreme pain and some days not so much, 3 years ago I was finally diagnosed with Fibro, which was a relief in one way because I knew what was going on, and then, on the other hand, I was thinking, crap I am stuck with this now.

This series isn't pretty, it's blunt and in your face, that is the way I wanted to create it but also how it had to be created in order for people to "see" what we feel every day of our lives!!

Pain
The skin pain is one of the worst when you shower it feels like nails are coming out instead of water. When you use a puff to wash yourself it feels like a cheese grater, when you put on clothes or if anything brushes against your skin it hurts, it can feel like the worst sunburn you have ever had. When someone tries to comfort you, you can't let them because their touch hurts. When I have a flare this is the first thing I notice, when my skin starts to hurt I know it's just going to get worse.

Brain Fog
It's more than just being forgetful, although that is a huge thing for us. I forget to eat and drink water, I have over 11 alarms on my phone to remind me to take my medications, to do laundry, to do dishes, everything is set by an alarm. I have short-term memory loss, which is frustrating for myself and everyone in my life. You get confused and disoriented, it's a battle every day and for me, this is one that never leaves. 

Anxiety
I have had anxiety and panic attack disorder since I was a teenager, as I have gotten older it has gotten worse, I have to take medication for it, or I wouldn't be here, to be honest. The anxiety and panic hit it's peak when I got Fibro, with everything that goes on with your body and mind, you panic, the pain is unbearable some days and you just can't stop thinking about it. My mind never stops, it never has. And when your mind doesn't stop, it can go into scary places, and make you freak out about things you normally wouldn't. I have slowly taught myself how to get through an attack and if I can't, I have some amazing friends that will talk me through it. 

There will be more in this series to come, my goal is to have this series put into a gallery, sounds strange maybe but I feel that this needs to be out there and talked about!! 

I would love your thoughts on it so far!! 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and stay tuned to my page for more work!

Nikki xoxoxox


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